playing chicken

I am at the point where I will soon be dropping back on my own. Today I tried to go back as far as I could, while waiting for my teacher..and I just could not make myself take that final little leap of faith down to the mat. Turned out she was waiting to see if I would manage on my own. I'm a big chicken about that stuff...though I almost managed by myself when she was standing there; she only made my landings a bit lighter after I "plunged" (ha!) back to the floor.

Moral of the story..I can drop back, but it is fear that stops me. (like that is a new thing to read about backbending...)

What else have I been afraid of lately...oh, it's quite a list.

-Driving a car (ok, I have a licence and I have driven ages ago..but not gonna tackle this one in nyc)
-Dating
-Inviting new friends out to do things
-Asking questions in my feldenkrais training (ie. speaking in those big 70 person discussion/q and a sessions)
-Trying to find people outside my training program to practice teaching feldenkrais atms to..as my few friends      here are not receptive to this.
-Asking for time off at work, because we are so busy and I have had such an up and down (mostly down)     time of it at work this year
-Looking for a more suitable job
-going to india, though i would love to go to mysore at the end of this year-not so much the trip itself, as just the planning involved and the changes it might mean to my living and work situations

hmm...I know there is more..

I did tackle one of the list items today..got a discussion started with my boss about me taking a week off in July (though I will have to work some fridays to make the time up beforehand, unfortunately). Hope it works out, as I need the week for my feldenkrais training. I had been nervous about this for the past few weeks, actually, trying to find a time to ask when I would not get snapped at, etc.

I guess there is always tomorrow to try again with the backbending, and maybe another item on the list.