Wednesday, June 5, 2013

playing chicken

I am at the point where I will soon be dropping back on my own. Today I tried to go back as far as I could, while waiting for my teacher..and I just could not make myself take that final little leap of faith down to the mat. Turned out she was waiting to see if I would manage on my own. I'm a big chicken about that stuff...though I almost managed by myself when she was standing there; she only made my landings a bit lighter after I "plunged" (ha!) back to the floor.

Moral of the story..I can drop back, but it is fear that stops me. (like that is a new thing to read about backbending...)

What else have I been afraid of lately...oh, it's quite a list.

-Driving a car (ok, I have a licence and I have driven ages ago..but not gonna tackle this one in nyc)
-Inviting new friends out to do things
-Asking questions in my feldenkrais training (ie. speaking in those big 70 person discussion/q and a sessions)
-Trying to find people outside my training program to practice teaching feldenkrais atms my few friends      here are not receptive to this.
-Asking for time off at work, because we are so busy and I have had such an up and down (mostly down)     time of it at work this year
-Looking for a more suitable job
-going to india, though i would love to go to mysore at the end of this year-not so much the trip itself, as just the planning involved and the changes it might mean to my living and work situations

hmm...I know there is more..

I did tackle one of the list items a discussion started with my boss about me taking a week off in July (though I will have to work some fridays to make the time up beforehand, unfortunately). Hope it works out, as I need the week for my feldenkrais training. I had been nervous about this for the past few weeks, actually, trying to find a time to ask when I would not get snapped at, etc.

I guess there is always tomorrow to try again with the backbending, and maybe another item on the list.


  1. You can do it, just have straight arms on landing. Enjoy it, the day you do it on your own you will remember forever and make sure to tell us when you do!

    I'm the opposite just now, I fear I won't be able to drop back again, my arm feels so fragile.

  2. Thanks kevin! i am trying to remember the straight arms thing

    i am sure you will drop back again. just be patient with it :)

  3. I hope you are right, though after 6 months patience mi starting to run out.