You are stronger than you think

I learned a new cool transition yesterday-chakrasana. Thus far, I land on my hands and knees and have to crawl forward into chautauranga. My teacher helped me the first time, and then I magically managed to do it myself the second time (while she was watching- having your teacher watching gives you special powers to get deeper into any pose than you would on your own- I know-I felt it in uttana padasana-which I managed to hold for 10 breaths for the first time). She said chakrasana is more scary than hard. I was amazed. I tried this at home quite a while back, before I even started with ashtanga..only to be totally beached on my back.

Today, I felt much heavier, clunkier and my breath sounded awful again, almost wheezy at points. How to transition to more than 3 days a week of this in an intelligent manner..still must figure that out. Even though on my non-ashtanga days I practice Jivamukti style (which is still quite intense, though in a different way). I will try to up it to 4 days a week next month, and see how that goes. I need to learn to work hard, but not 100% all the time, because that is too much (unless the yoga was all I have to do in my day). I also need to think about when to try to jump back again (I am scared of really damaging my ankle/lower leg and I am not sure if it will ever heal to a point of zero discomfort, even without jumping). I am afraid that if I wait too long, I will have forgotten how to do it..Ego ego ego.

I did manage my baby version of chakrasana again, though it took a couple tries. I had to psyche myself up with my new mantra for this transition- it is more scary than hard.

Good thing to think of, as I am also contemplating moving, and getting a roommate..all to live closer to downtown. When I moved to New York over 10 years ago, it never occurred to me how much time I would spend on the train every day.